


Wonder of Wonders, Miracle of Miracles!

by Shayheyred



Category: due South
Genre: Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-06
Updated: 2011-07-06
Packaged: 2017-10-21 02:42:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/219997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shayheyred/pseuds/Shayheyred
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A little canon miracle</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wonder of Wonders, Miracle of Miracles!

** THE NATIONAL ENQUIRER **

**March 15, 1998**

** _WOMAN GIVES BIRTH TO SIX BABIES AND WASN'T EVEN PREGNANT!_ **

**"It's a miracle!" say family, friends.**

**Chicago, IL - _A Chicago woman has given birth to six healthy babies after the shortest pregnancy in history – NONE WHATSOEVER!_**

 ** _"One night I went to sleep, just like always, and the next morning I woke up pregnant!" gushes glowing Miracle Mom Francesca Vecchio, 33. "I really always wanted to be a mother, but geez, I haven't had sex in a year and a half – wait, don't print that! I don't even have a boyfriend, not that I wasn't trying to, I mean, I had my eye on this guy, well, not just a_ guy, _an incredible hunk of a guy – I mean, if you looked at him, you'd go, 'oh, my God, how could they have let Benton Fraser leave Canada!' But it's not like we, I mean we never, though I wanted to, of course, who wouldn't? I mean, the guy must be made out of stone, the way he never even responded, or else he's gay, which of course he's not."_**

 **_Mr. Fraser could not be reached for comment._ **

**_Miss Vecchio, whose first marriage was annulled, and who describes herself as a "sort-of practicing Catholic," gave birth to all six children two days later, in what obstetrician Dr. Waldo Fremmerman of University Hospital described as a "miraculously painless delivery, especially considering the number and size of the babies."_ **

_**Priests, rabbis, ministers, philosophers and interested parties gathered outside the Vecchio home to ponder the meaning of the miraculous births. Our secret spy-eye on site detected visiting mega-star Madonna among a group of kabbalah students. "As you of course know, I was born Catholic," the Material Girl was heard to say, "but if you check the relevance of the number six when combined with the word 'baby' in the book of Genesis, well, I'm just sayin'..."** _

**_Another theory was put forth by a neighbor, James "Jar-Jar" Horstheimer, 23. "I don’t wanna say for certain, but I think I seen some things on the lawn and some really bright lights in the sky a coupla nights ago."_ **

**_When asked if he meant the miracle children were the product of alien impregnation of a human host, Mr. Horstheimer replied, "Hey, man, the truth is out there."_ **

**_Perhaps the most profound comment was uttered by Miss Vecchio's mother, Caterina Vecchio, 63. "Let's face it," Mrs. Vecchio said, "My daughter has always been a little loose, but this takes the cake!"_ **

**_Miracle Mom and all six babies – Bentonio, Benita, Raimundo, Caterina, Harding and Huey – are doing well._ **

* * *


End file.
